The only people who scoff at prayer are those who haven't tried it long enough!
YOU THINK YOU HAVE MONEY PROBLEMS!!!
Due to the downturn in the economy, Alcoholics Anonymous will N0
LONGER be dues and membership "Free" as has been the case for
almost 75 years. Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for
some things that used to be free, such as:
1--Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension---$49.99 per trip, fuel
surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th dimension trips
optional. See your sponsor for details.
2--Sponsorship--was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20
phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each.
3--Membership Dues now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year
plan.
4--Seating charges--Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20%
discount for the 90-in-90 plan.
5--Pink Cloud was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event
environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds
that do NOT add to global warming.
6--Coffee to be $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.
7--Hugs now will be $2.50 each.
8--Conscious Contact with GOD now $9.99/month, with the first 450
minutes free, then 0.10 cents/minute fee over. New Double your
minutes for life plan is a low $49.99 one time charge. Holidays and
weekends extra, see rate schedule, as GOD is VERY busy.
9--Accidental cell phone going off charge now set at $25.00 per
episode.
10--"I've been Thinking" fees to now be $3.00 each, with a relapse reentry
fee of only $99.99 each, if you're lucky enough to make it back
into the rooms.
11-Publication of A.A. Birthdays in Lifeline fees will be $5.00 per 5
years of sobriety. $5.00 for 1 - 5 years, $10 for 5 -10 years, etc.
Please, void where prohibited by law, AA reserves the right to change
none, all, or some of these rates at anytime, with no notice to you. If
you need a notice of change of rates, a written request may be sent to
headquarters in new York, of course, a $10.00 fee applies.
NOTE: The editor does not accept responsibility for your reaction to
this article.
